Jack Kerouac's Apple Pie from On the Road

“I ate apple pie and ice cream—it was getting better as I got deeper into Iowa, the pie bigger, the ice cream richer…that’s practically all I ate all the way across the country, I knew it was nutritious and it was delicious, of course.”

I set aside years of well cultivated hostility to team up with my arch enemy and most terrible human, Maria of Sift & Whisk to bring you this new book pairing. The Worthington Library held an Edible Books Contest the other night and we submitted this Jack Kerouac inspired piece. I had an amazing James & the Giant Peach cream pie from Honeykiss Bakery, Planet of the Pies moon pies from Bake Me Happy, cakes from Short North Piece of Cake and Four & Twenty Blackbird Bake Shop, far too many cupcakes of whose namesakes I don’t remember (books were involved, I think) and I know there’s more, but I was too deluged with pie to remember. We won Best Design and tied for People’s Choice so, you know. We’re the best, no big deal.

A few confessions:

I SORT OF HATE JACK KEROUAC
I read On the Road out of spite, finally finishing it after the fourth try when it became a study in endurance. I have an irrational need to read everything, from the dead white male books that make up the Western canon to escapist YA and graphic novels, so I was pretty determined to read what is reputedly one of the 20th century’s most important works. The novel that defined the Beat Generation. The inspiration for a thousand cross country road trips. That famous “roman candles” line. But as I listlessly followed each sentence I couldn’t get Truman Capote’s words out of my head: “That isn’t writing, it’s typing.” A scathing review in five words (Capote was such a bitch) but I agree. It’s essentially a stream of consciousness where nothing seems to happen for almost 300 pages. When I finally hit the last, agonizing page I threw the book across the room to get it as far away from me as possible.

I SORT OF HATE APPLE PIE
This is what I told Maria while shoveling forkfuls of her apple pie with smoked gruyere and thyme crust into my mouth. When it comes to food, I don’t discriminate. I’m not picky. But I have never been a big fan of apple pie. The thing about Maria’s recipes though, the reason why I happily inhaled a pie I purport to despise, is that the ingredients are always so inventive. Pumpkin spice souffles with blackstrap whipped cream & hazelnuts? Apple cinnamon doughnut bread pudding with maple butter rum sauce? What is this sorcery? (These are real recipes by the way.)

I SORT OF HATE MARIA
Still figuring out how I can use this experience to destroy her.